The question that sparked this brief article?: "How does it feel to achieve something?"
My answer, expletives removed and replaced: "Embarrassing as heck."
My copy of Psychotronik Comics Presents #1 (still available, follow the link provided!) arrived two days ago, and I only opened it up today. The reason why? Because this is the culmination of maybe two plus years effort, distilled into something I can hold in my hands. Touch. Read. I mean, everyone claims that the internet is the future, seeing these images on the computer screen is something, but to have something concrete in your hands? This is terrifying. So I finally read it today. And I’m amazed. But reading my dialogue? Oh, lord. Nothing is good enough, I guess. When you write it, you feel fantastic about it. Then you send it to the artist. Doubt creeps in. You see the art, and for a few days, you forget about your words. You’re amazed. Then the letterer steps in. And then you hate yourself.
“Why would he say that?!” “What… what the Hell is going on?!” “So clunky!”
I don’t like reading dialogue I’ve written after I’ve initially written it. And this is real now. This is in the hands of strangers, of friends, of family. And it’s mine. This is something I can call my own. I’m a published writer. And yeah, I’m proud, but crikey, I should have written under a pseudonym.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the fact that my dad read it, and accused me of being sick because of what happens on, what, the third page? I had to explain to him that I wrote it, and sent it to my dear collaborator Craig Cermak, and that all the words were mine, and not his responsibility.
With hindsight, I should have blamed the artist.
So much easier.