tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79351419167711123162024-03-12T19:00:53.745-07:00Blog-O-TronikLowbrow, underground, robots, monsters, sci-fi, horror, steampunk, hot rods, comics, alternative, rock n' roll, classic hot rods, cult, psychotronic, psychotronik, etc.Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-84139989043276072692010-01-12T06:01:00.001-08:002010-01-12T06:02:05.514-08:00Swamp Thing by Chris SamneeNot sure what this guy has worked on before now but I just saw this quick draw video of him doing Swamp Thing and really dig his style. This is sped up but he really does work fast. This pic took him about 30 minutes in real time.<br /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" src="http://static.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http://vid39.photobucket.com/albums/e178/chrissamnee/SwampThing.flv" height="361" width="600"></embed><br />If you like what you see go check out his <a href="http://www.chrissamnee.com/" mce_href="http://www.chrissamnee.com/">art blog</a>!Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-20184742415125051832009-11-04T11:57:00.000-08:002009-11-04T12:00:55.149-08:00Martyrs - A Semi Film ReviewI was considering micro-blogging the experience of watching MARTYRS somewhere, maybe on Twitter, but I changed my mind, and thought I'd just come here first. This film is horrifying. I mean... barely seven minutes into this film I was jumping out of my skin. I am making an awful decision, right now, to watch it in the dark, in a house, by myself. This was not my smartest move. But this is what I want to make a horror film like, if I did. This isn't by the book, you know? This isn't relying on the rules that American film makers rely on, but making new rules as it goes. I have no idea what's going to happen as this film continues.<br /><br />I am terrified and excited about this.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-70260428356719921082009-04-25T10:07:00.000-07:002009-04-25T11:24:08.096-07:00Twist of Cain drives my brain! Twist of Cain make me come alive!I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith, as it were. This is not over my religious beliefs, don't get the wrong idea, this is about my faith in others. And no, this isn't going to be a hate speech directed at George W. Bush or Barack Obama, this is going to be something else. I'll get right to it.<br /><br />I'm a Creative Writer. I'm not joking, this is the label I have, because I'm doing a course at university entitled "Creative Writing", therefore making me a "Creative Writer". What does this entail, I hear you ask? Well, here's the thing... I'm not entirely sure. Because I know how to write. Writing is all about creativity. So isn't it a bit weird to declare a course on writing is "Creative Writing"? Isn't it just as sane, albeit weirder looking, to call this course "Writing Writing"?<br /><br />I am creative! I have to be. This isn't me being arrogant, we're all creative, here at Psychotronik, else pursuing this comic book publishing venture would be ridiculous. We are ideas men. We are the future of the medium, or story-writing. We are the future because we are here now and we will be after. The futures of the medium right now will be dead eventually. The writers we are fans with won't live forever (unless Grant Morrison is granted his dying wish and becomes part of the field of creativity that seeps out of the atmosphere... or something) and then we will have to step in place to fill that void. We are our own fans. We are our own favourite writers. There is a cycle there, and no one will ever break it.<br /><br />But here's the thing. I'm surrounded by my peers. We have to be, duh, we're all doing the same course, but when we're given feedback... it's hollow. And it's obvious. A man is hurting inside so... obviously he should have the smell of alcohol on his breath to really push forward that idea! People obviously can't be conveyed an emotion of loss without a marker! Without a cliché! Need a tortured character? Kill his parents. Need to show how evil someone is without subtlety? Have them murder their parents! Obvious, obvious, obvious... how am I supposed to engage the reader when the reader apparently wants stories spoon fed to them step by step, instead of thinking for themselves?<br /><br />Let's mess with peoples' heads. Let's buck expectation. Let's go where no-one thought we would. Let's be bloody creative, not freaking obvious. Else doing this course, doing "Creative Writing" is nothing of the sort, it's conforming, you know? And I don't want to conform to the tastes of a majority that shouldn't be in the position it is.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-7249520669538150022009-02-21T07:04:00.000-08:002009-02-21T07:47:55.156-08:00Happiness In Slavery<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkz7Xov0pa3Ro_AZDEn9oAKbRP2h1Mb-RZiKMncNZQcmNRK5OKd4CVq6zA08RU0-22NXOH0dgWAJ-ieIsSSL2dYsT5XMoQWGtYWDcHL5o8tA0O2I0RH9kHPCczVfAtFnhNZJwKu9p-cJgc/s1600-h/Fridaythe13th2009.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkz7Xov0pa3Ro_AZDEn9oAKbRP2h1Mb-RZiKMncNZQcmNRK5OKd4CVq6zA08RU0-22NXOH0dgWAJ-ieIsSSL2dYsT5XMoQWGtYWDcHL5o8tA0O2I0RH9kHPCczVfAtFnhNZJwKu9p-cJgc/s320/Fridaythe13th2009.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5305277846022653474" /></a>I might stand corrected.<br /><br />I love horror films, I think we've established that from the rant I posted last December, but really... I just want them to work. I want us to stop cannibalising old plots and films, I want us to move forward, and do something brilliant. <br /><br />I want horror to be special again. <br /><br />But I might stand corrected with a few of my points from the previous blog (<a href="http://blogotronik.blogspot.com/2008/12/help-me-i-am-in-hell.html">Help Me. I Am In Hell</a>) due to the fact that I've seen parts of the new <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_the_13th_(2009_film)">Friday the 13th</a></span>. And the thing is... it doesn't look bad. It looks... awful... but that's because in this day and age we can't take masked serial killers seriously. <br /><br />I mean honestly, in <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saw_(film)">Saw</a></span>, Jigsaw, our villain/anti-hero, wears a pig mask and has a clown puppet called Billy. Those aren't scary (well they were in the first film, the scene with Cary Ewes in the parking garage and Jigsaw crawling out of the back seat... guh, and when the director does that irritating quick IN-YOUR-FACE cut/cut/cut shoot style...), they're funny. If you turn off the sound (ignoring the sultry tones of Tobin Bell) you've got this clown puppet yapping away. Horrifying-- Not.But we don't have masked serial killers walking the streets. No urban myths and legends really have those kind of terrifying figures (Obviously ignoring the Hook Man legend, but even then, he doesn't wear a mask, he wears a hook. Go figure) that instill fear. <br /><br />Anonymity should be scary. <br /><br />Films like <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_a_Stranger_Calls_(2006_film)">When A Stranger Calls</a></span> are scary because we don't know who the hell is doing what, and by the end of the film, we still don't. He's, like Michael Myers before him in <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_(1978_film)">Halloween</a></span>, a "Shape", ethereal, ghostly, but when he strikes... he strikes hard and vicious. To be honest, the sequences without actually seeing the "Prank Caller" in <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_a_Stranger_Calls_(2006_film)">When A Stranger Calls</a></span> are the scariest. When we actually see him, he's a human being, and he's just there. Real. It looses something. Faceless serial killers are the best, in that we don't know who they are, or why they're doing what they're doing. Why is Jason killing? Because he nearly drowned and, oh, because of one the funniest quotes of the film: "<span style="font-style:italic;">Kill for mother</span>!" Thank you Pamela Voorhees. And thank you, shades of <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psycho_(1960_film)">Psycho</a></span> (another film that brilliant in it's anonymity, and not diluted by the eventual reveal of "Mother" Bates)! <br /><br />I don't like knowing why the killer is killing. Certain films work like that, "discovery horror", as I've just decided to call it, where-in the story is moved forward by a mystery, but others, not so much. I'm going out on a limb and declaring the remake of <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Wax_(2005_film)">House Of Wax</a></span> as "discovery horror", as we eventually discover the history of the Wax Town, the twins, etc, but what really matters is how fucking horrifying a lot of the murders are. How happy was I when Paris Hilton got skewered by a phallic symbol? Tres. One of the weaker murders, sure, but some of the events in that film were really bloody scary. The guy at the piano, his mate finding him, prodding his cheek and then-- oh, if you've seen the film, you know what I'm talking about. God. And Elisha Cuthbert's fingers!! Shit. That was a scary-<span style="font-style:italic;">ish</span> film! <br /><br />So <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_the_13th_(2009_film)">Friday the 13th</a></span>. I was a bit fanboy-ish outraged at the idea of Jason running. But now, thinking about it, so what? So what if he runs? That doesn't matter, does it? I mean, I may prefer my slow moving serial killers, Michael Myers, aka The Shape, the classic Voorhees... but fast moving can be scary too, in different ways. Freddy Kruger of <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nightmare_On_Elm_Street">Nightmare on Elm Street</a></span> fame jumps around like a freaking ADD afflicted twelve year old, and he's terrifying, the "ugly clown", that glove, the close ups on his massacred face... scary as. The zombies in the remake of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_of_the_Dead_(2004_film)"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Dawn of the Dead</span></a> and in <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Days_Later">28 Days Later</a></span> (one of the greatest British films ever made) too, are scary in a different way. They will get you. And there's no fun in that. I like zombies that loiter about and then won't stop till they eventually find you, moving in herds, never stopping, slowly but surely catching up with you. In <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_of_the_Dead_(2004_film)"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Dawn of the Dead</span></a>, they just... ran... and it was disappointing. Where was the suspense? Where was the horror? <br /><br />But Jason Voorhees runs in <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_the_13th_(2009_film)">Friday the 13th</a></span>. And I don't know, really, I don't mind. I've not seen the entire film, I want to, sure, but I've not got round to it. As long as he doesn't, I don't know, dance about, I think I can be ok with it. So whilst I'm not a big fan of nu-horror, shallow and dilute as it is, I think I can abide it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-58542107275292571652009-02-10T01:01:00.001-08:002009-02-10T02:07:55.497-08:00(Don't) Save the WhalesOnly one <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">blogpost</span> in 2009? This is supposed to be our year, the year of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Psychotronik</span></span> and yet somehow the combined effort of like four or five individuals have only managed to produce ONE blog... and about BRUCE CAMPBELL? No offense to my Fearless Leader, but Bruce Campbell couldn't act his way out of a plastic bag. Why plastic? I hate the environment.<br /><br />Where was I? Oh yes. The blog. I'm writing a blog right now.<br /><br />So I should introduce myself in this thing in some fashion for all of those that read this blog and aren't already subscribing to my other blog, all one of you? I am Ramon <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Villalobos</span></span>. I am the rabble-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">rouser</span></span> of our dysfunctional little clan of comic book creators. There is no subject too <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">insignificant</span> for me to make a fuss over and then drag on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">until</span> we all have forgotten what we argued about in the first place. That's my role.<br /><br />At this point, I would usually ask you who you are, but given the format of this exchange, I'm going to leave that to my imagination. To me, you are a cockroach who is so fed up with life you have turned to a life of drinking spilt bear off the ground and have found some way to pound on the keys of the keyboard before you enough to surf the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Internet</span> and have stumbled upon this very blog with the hope that it will provide you some <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">semblance</span> of a reason to go on... some life force that will fill the void in your life so you can get your act together and go procreate cockroach style so that you will father the generation of cockroaches that survives nuclear <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">annihilation</span> and will inherit the earth after we humans have completely drove it to ruins. You will be the ancestor of all existence and your kind will evolve beyond my comprehension so that you will rocket away from this planet before the sun burns out and nothing is left of this very blog but the faint dissonant note of information that ring on in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">su</span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">bconscious</span> of your great great great great grandchildren and be encoded in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">their</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">dna</span></span>. And in that eventuality, I will live on too. That's who you are to me.<br /><br />Now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, I want to address a very important topic of discussion: Saving the Whales.<br /><br /><br />We've done too much of it. I know what you are thinking if you are on the liberal end of the spectrum, "but Ramon <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Villalobos</span></span>, co-writer and artist of Frank and Elenore In... and artist of To Earth with Love, what are you saying? Whales are majestic creatures and we should preserve their species so that they can live noble peaceful lives <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">undisturbed</span> by human <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">interruption</span>!" Well you are wrong. Dead wrong. Why? Because we have to destroy the whales to further promote the evolution of OUR species. Let's be honest here, we are no <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">radioactivevolved</span></span> future cockroach, we are never going to figure out the key to realistic space travel so that we can leave this planet and inhabit another one. That's just not going to happen when people are mindlessly devoting their lives to religion and rejecting scientific advancement and the slaughtering of fetuses (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">fetusi</span></span>?). We'll just never go that far.<br /><br />So what will we do when we run out of space on earth and need to find new places to build <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">McMansions</span> and Super <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Wal</span>-Marts? Well after we completely level those worthless <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">rain forests</span> that take up too much space and allow deadly viruses to spread and waste us off, we'll need to venture into the true final frontier. The ocean! It's so obvious of an idea, I'm surprised we are wasting time with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">NASA's</span> failures and overspending and not putting <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">valuably</span> fleeting resources into underwater breathing technology! We could build whole colonies underwater that would theoretically function the exact same way as society does on land but with Atlantis <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">motifs</span>! Think about it, isn't that the future you want for your children and grandchildren!? (Not you roach, you come into play a little later)<br /><br />Of course it is.<br /><br />Why wouldn't you?<br /><br />Are you some kind of inhumane <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">aquaphobic</span> monster?<br /><br />I didn't think you were.<br /><br />So anyways, that brings us back to those fucking whales.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWKort9UmCKtJohc7L8_DFDGw1Ljos_yCXXQXAA19tO7-EGhNqb6KHzpDl1TQeZRra3fW0C728QS_icsAGwYqp9qLQ0-LZh_SasJ4Q5LqKR_GL2SE2TVUOI5wYDnhz9lNgWMO-kKS7Xd8/s1600-h/whales.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 269px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWKort9UmCKtJohc7L8_DFDGw1Ljos_yCXXQXAA19tO7-EGhNqb6KHzpDl1TQeZRra3fW0C728QS_icsAGwYqp9qLQ0-LZh_SasJ4Q5LqKR_GL2SE2TVUOI5wYDnhz9lNgWMO-kKS7Xd8/s400/whales.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301108022973651730" border="0" /></a>When we eventually do go all <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Sealab</span> 2020 we are going to have to face all sorts of oceanic wildlife that may not like us lighting up the blackness of the ocean depths and polluting the living shit out of their turf, or tide as the case may be. Among these, the creature I see presenting the most problems to us would be the whales. The sharks would be a threat sure, I think Jaws is overrated, but the threat they presented in the movie was legitimate, sharks are big and have lots of pointy teeth. But at the end of the day, they can be blown to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">smithereens</span> by missiles and probably eaten as sea-burgers. Whales? They are the raging <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Goliaths</span> that we will need far more than <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">torpedoes</span> and spears to kill. Once they realize what our intentions are, they will try to resist our hostile take over and use their sonic communication to communicate with one another and lead a revolution against us <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">mammalian</span> outsiders. We will fight bitter wars with them and they will eat our ships whole just like in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Pinocchio</span>, except we are not immortal wooden avatars of the child a lonely carpenter was never able to father, no-no, we are people and when people get consumed whole, the stomach acid of larger beast will kill us. Probably.<br /><br />So what are we waiting for? We all know the day will come when we will have to fight these bastards, why allow the opportunity to grow larger armies and become more a advanced species as time creeps forward? It's arrogant to think the people we look down on and help out today won't try to compete against us in the future, look at Japan. Those kooky little fuckers have already built better cars and created legions of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">anime</span> obsessed little demonic capitalists the likes of which our good wholesome, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">pot smoking</span> American <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">mallrats</span> can never compete with in any capacity. Didn't you watch our version of Hole in the Wall? We suck at it and they are probably pretty decent! If that's not a test of superiority, I honestly don't know what is.<br /><br />At any rate, lets not make the same mistake twice. Let's take any and all opportunities to kill off this fast growing race of water-mammoths while we still can do so with very little effort.<br /><br />That is all.Ramon Villaloboshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10892976021117470923noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-39163983642984041192009-01-23T07:25:00.000-08:002009-01-23T09:04:26.098-08:00My Name Is Bruce<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvXiiIaRl7Bxi-q5u5hyphenhyphenvryXFixSy3DgvumT_bSmACr4ibRiCzyOBYP1sy36wyxKEHdTvOJccJbCgOZQoxC9urz4N6CLmhf9sawrUmNDyuxXmZJ-quSCYopDxZ724VvCVJic8rQGqlog/s1600-h/mynameisbruce2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvXiiIaRl7Bxi-q5u5hyphenhyphenvryXFixSy3DgvumT_bSmACr4ibRiCzyOBYP1sy36wyxKEHdTvOJccJbCgOZQoxC9urz4N6CLmhf9sawrUmNDyuxXmZJ-quSCYopDxZ724VvCVJic8rQGqlog/s320/mynameisbruce2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294514084182896258" border="0" /></a><br />Let me just start by saying that if you are a Bruce Campbell fan it will be almost impossible for you to not like this film. And if you aren't a Bruce Campbell you'll probably think it's one of the worst movies you've ever seen.<br /><br />And that is what <span style="font-style: italic;">My Name Is Bruce</span> basically is - a movie just for the fans. It's like Bruce Campbell's greatest hits. If you were a big enough Bruce fan to sit through <span style="font-style: italic;">McHale's Navy</span>, this is like pure candy. He plays a parody of himself as filtered through his lovable jerk Ash persona. His movies are referenced heavily (with even a made-up one). He does all his best bits and his more famous quotes are littered throughout. And the cast is populated with past players in his less-than-impressive b-movie oeuvre (which of course includes Ted Raimi, the not quite as talented younger brother of Sam and Ivan).<br /><br />So how do you get to be a Bruce fan? Where did they all come from? I have no idea. For me personally it was a quiet summer night sometime back in the late 1980s when myself and a small group of friends would raid the video rental section of a local grocery store that just so happened to be heavy stocked on scary movies. There must have been a kindred spirit behind the counter somewhere that would order pretty much every single blood and guts flick that came up for purchase and it did not go unnoticed by us. It didn't hurt that the girl that worked the customer service desk at night was a friend of mine so we almost never caught late fees when we found one good enough that it required an extra viewing night. So on that night one friend made note of a particular movie called Evil Dead 2 that reportedly co-starred a local hometown girl who had made it big, Kassie Wesley (later DePaiva, the girl who swallowed the eyeball). We rented it with little idea that it would fast become our favorite movie and would go on to be a heavily repeated rental in the months to come. It was brilliant madness. Frantic camerawork, slapstick horror, and our first taste of the man we would come to worship, Bruce Campbell. And in the years since our admiration hasn't lost steam one iota. A few years back I visited said friend on a trip to his city only to find a copy of "If Chins Could Kill" on his coffee table and him dutifully asking his 4-year-old son to identify the man on the cover. "Bwuce Cammell," his son quickly responded. "That's my boy!" my friend proudly proclaimed. Such is the dedication of a true Bruce fan.<br /><br />And new generations of Bruce fans just keep on coming. How do they come to learn of 'the groovy' that is Bruce? The happy accident of a late night showing of Army of Darkness? An older brother who was already hip to the coolness of Brisco County Jr.? A curiosity to who this guy is that keeps showing up in the Spider-man movies? They just so happened to glimpse a charismatic yet goofy chap on an Old Spice commercial? It's hard to pinpoint.<br /><br />Right, <span style="font-style: italic;">My Name is Bruce</span>. A small town is being terrorized by an ancient evil spirit (of which whom they have a catchy song about) so the town's biggest Bruce Campbell fan elects to recruit his hero to help them out. In a plot not unlike <span style="font-style: italic;">Three Amigos</span> the townsfolk have no idea that movie heroes aren't the same as real heroes so they welcome him as their savior. Bruce, playing the usual self-important yet self-loathing shemp is given little choice but to go along with it but soon decides to live it up and soak in a hero worship... until the time comes to confront the menace. In this case his own personal El Guapo is an evil Chinese god named Guan-di. That's where the crazy fun goes up a notch and Bruce reveals his true colors.<br /><br />It's a fun idea that allows Bruce to be Bruce. But when you get down to it it's not that great of a story. It's not that well acted. The dialogue is extra-cheesy. And the monster isn't really in the least bit scary. But somehow, once again, Bruce makes you not care. He's smarmy and smug. He's a down on his luck drunk and a divorcee. He dances like he wants to hurt someone. He runs readily from the bad guy. He steals cars from old ladies. And he tries to womanize the only single mother in town. But it's still awesome. And when the chips are down and push comes to shove he steps up and makes good on saving the day. Or at least I think he does. The ending gets a little confusing. I will say however that I am supremely disappointed the custom built chainsaw foreshadowed halfway through the movies wasn't brought in for the final act. It was the only major failing of this film which made good on giving the fans what they want on every other level.<br /><br />So it comes down to this. Bruce Campbell knows his fans. Not quite in the way that William Shatner understands how to poke fun of himself (for being full of himself) and make money on his own name, but it's pretty damn close. He knows his fans well enough that he tours with the film on a limited release and does Q and As along with it. He also knows enough about his fanbase to load down the DVD with extras and charge a little more for it when it is finally released early next month because we will happily pay for it to get the purest dose of Bruceness available since maybe <span style="font-style: italic;">Army of Darkness</span> dropped over 15 years ago. Bruce is cashing in on us and we couldn't be happier.<br /><br />Hail to the King baby.<br /><br />(now I'm off to Hulu to catch up on <span style="font-style: italic;">Burn Notice</span>!)Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-2889159139535672462008-12-21T12:43:00.000-08:002008-12-21T13:15:34.198-08:00Help Me. I Am In Hell.<a href="http://s11.photobucket.com/albums/a193/HourmanLives/?action=view¤t=twilight-movie-poster.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a193/HourmanLives/twilight-movie-poster.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> <br /><br />I am sorry. I am so sorry.<br /><br />Horror is being stolen from us! Seriously! Look at the genre, and look in the direction it’s going. Vampires? Bloody <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/">Twilight</a>. Yeah, you see where I’m going with this? Wait, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387564/">Saw</a>, you say? It’s pantomime. It’s a form of pornography. What was the last good horror film you saw? For me, I recently purchased <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443527/">The Hamiltons</a>, and whilst it was good, it was a form of teen-horror, and I just don’t think that’s a viable form for the genre.<br /><br />I rented out <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422401/">Hatchet</a>, the tagline reading: “<span style="font-style:italic;">It's not a remake, it's not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one. Old school American horror.</span>” Firstly, it was crap. Recycling old plots and cliches into something that was derivative and almost like the bastard child of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080761/">Friday the 13th</a> and CRAP. Secondly, since when has making awesomely terrifying horror films become a spiteful game between America and Japan? Asian extreme cinema is some of the most horrifying stuff put to film! <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0235198/">Audition</a> (Ôdishon)? <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364385/">Ju-On</a>? <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0178868/">Ringu</a>? We’re siphoning ideas from some talented creators, and I just wish we had the know-how to do something amazing. Call backs to “<span style="font-style:italic;">old school American horror</span>” are all well and good, but what are these call backs? Remakes of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077681/">The Hills Have Eyes</a>? <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072271/">Texas Chainsaw Massacre</a>? They tried to revitalise the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087800/">Nightmare on Elm Street</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080761/">Friday the 13th</a> franchises (together, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329101/">Freddy Vs Jason</a>, remember?) but that didn’t do what they wanted it to do, so look what we’ve got to look forward to now. A remake of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758746/">Friday the 13th</a>. And if you've seen the trailer, you'll know that Jason runs. He runs! Serial killers don’t run. They <span style="font-style:italic;">teleport</span>. They shimmy through reality and end up in front of you no matter how fast you run or how far you fall over ahead of them. That is horror. Making these horrors viable, giving them the ability to run? Ruins horror for me. <br /><br />Zombies don’t run fast. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289043/">28 Days Later</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363547/">Dawn of the Dead</a> were good watches, but give me the original Romero over Snyder Dawn any day. Oh, and the new <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179056/">Nightmare on Elm Street</a>. With Billy Bob Thornton over the legend of horror that is <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000387/">Robert Englund</a> (phwoar, check out that sexy IMDB)? Hell, I’ll watch the remake, but withour Mister Englund? I'll be sorely disappointed. If I'm not, I'll share that fact with all of you in 2010...<br /><br />Vampires used to be dirty little bastards, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093605/">Near Dark</a> for instance (a vampire film quite well known for not even mentioning vampires), or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093437/">The Lost Boys</a> as an example. Why do we have <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/">Twilight</a>? And why is it popular? Because it's a pandering piece of crap targeted at the susceptible market of "tweener" girls, who claim to buck the trends but therefore support another one. Oh, so <span style="font-style:italic;">individual</span>, oh, such <span style="font-style:italic;">liars</span>. The first horror film I ever saw? It has to be a toss up between <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0013442/">Nosferatu</a> (I was small. It haunted me) or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051744/">The House on Haunted Hill</a> (I’m not sure which, but they are the ones that stuck to my brain like a scab refusing to fall off). First time I saw House I was scarred (SCARRED!) by the scene with the basement, the blind/deaf/mute housekeeper and the tapping on the wall... Think about it, I was 6 or 7, and my dad puts that on. Thanks, terror. Vincent Price is for the win, all right, but this is the stuff that put me on the path I’m on now with Psychotronik. I love the classics. I hate seeing potential wasted.<br /><br />Right, so I should probably say, I’m not the kind of person who knows intimate details about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Gaines">Bill Gaines</a> or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000248/">Ed Wood</a>, and I’m sure they’re all swell folk, they did their jobs well (though, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052077/">Plan 9</a>… eh…) and we owe b-movie horror and horror-in-comics to them in some way or another (Bill Gaines ran EC Comics, after all, and we all know how that ended up… well, I say all of us, I mean those of us in “the know”) but we need to be the people pioneering the genre. Not Psychotronik, not just us, but I’m talking about all of you, all of you who want to write horror stories, don’t look back at what’s come before, look forward. Don’t go for the cheap scare, the exposed bone, the torn flesh, go for the scare, the terror. That’s why America is jealous, I think, of Asian cinema. Because they’re scared. And they can’t recreate it. They don’t have the right frame of mind for it. Remakes of Asian cinema are rubbish, I think we can all agree. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0391198/">The Grudge</a>? I remember having a running joke with my friends about that ghost-in-the-bag. Think about it from a sideways perspective, stop thinking “this should be scary” and just watch. It’s pretty friggin’ hilarious. Anyways, before I go off track once again, we need to pioneer the genre. We can’t just let it stagnate, and we can’t patronise the viewer. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/">Twilight</a>… crap, I don’t want to see it because vampires sparkle. Vampires. Do. Not. Sparkle. But I kind of do want to see it, because this is how the genre evolves. “<span style="font-style:italic;">Old school American horror</span>” should be good. It should take what made the genre so aggressively pioneering and keep it modern, reinvent itself. I’m sick of traps designed to kill, to punish, to teach. I’m sick of blood spraying into someone’s face unnecessarily; where's the foreplay? And talking of foreplay, I'm sick of blatant, overt sexual horror. It's for pre-pubescent kids who want to have a cute little bit of masturbation whilst seeing red. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450278/">Hostel</a> is gore porn. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387564/">Saw</a> is gore porn. We need more than pornography for this genre to survive. We need pioneers. So get to it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-86702378527914717612008-12-20T10:51:00.000-08:002008-12-20T11:04:48.874-08:00Uh, What? December 20th EditionReal quick: my name is Kris. I wrote a short, self-contained story for Psychotronik Comics that hopefully Ramon will one day finish drawing. I'm looking to write some more sequential fiction for PC, and I'll make sure everyone hears about it when I do. In the meantime, I'd like to explore the depths of humanity's odd behaviors with a completely irregular and potentially one edition installment known as "Uh, What?"<br /><br />So I've heard about the whole Scarlett Johansson tissue on eBay thing, and I was on eBay earlier today so I decided to look at the listing. <a href="http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&requested=tonightshowwithjayleno&iid=220331665273&frm=284&redirect=0&ShowASQAlways=1&SSPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI">The questions</a> caught my eye, specifically the third question:<br /><br />"Hi, I am what you may consider a celebrity tissue enthusiast. Can you please give me more info on the paper itself, before I bid? For instance: brand, color, how many ply, scented or non, did it originate from the studio or from Scarlett's purse. Thanks Mike Vancouver Canada"<br /><br />I knew people bought these things for absurd prices, (regardless of the fact that the money goes to charity, the price is still absurd) but I had no idea the number of ply was being factored in to these decisions. And let's not even get into scented, or non... I supposed a person has the right to know if the lovely scent Scarlett's snot is going to be corrupted by a synthetic flowery smell.Kris Krausehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07328386608038924213noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-17711747707530772252008-12-14T10:15:00.001-08:002008-12-14T10:18:00.983-08:00"Wotta Revoltin Development..."The question that sparked this brief article?: "How does it feel to achieve something?"<br /><br />My answer, expletives removed and replaced: "Embarrassing as heck."<br /><br />My copy of <a href="http://www.indyplanet.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=1365&osCsid=9cd5853549d0950495e7f3d55f24d7aa">Psychotronik Comics Presents #1</a> (still available, follow the link provided!) arrived two days ago, and I only opened it up today. The reason why? Because this is the culmination of maybe two plus years effort, distilled into something I can hold in my hands. Touch. Read. I mean, everyone claims that the internet is the future, seeing these images on the computer screen is something, but to have something concrete in your hands? This is terrifying. So I finally read it today. And I’m amazed. But reading my dialogue? Oh, lord. Nothing is good enough, I guess. When you write it, you feel fantastic about it. Then you send it to the artist. Doubt creeps in. You see the art, and for a few days, you forget about your words. You’re amazed. Then the letterer steps in. And then you hate yourself. <br /><br />“Why would he say that?!” “What… what the Hell is going on?!” “So clunky!” <br /><br />I don’t like reading dialogue I’ve written after I’ve initially written it. And this is real now. This is in the hands of strangers, of friends, of family. And it’s mine. This is something I can call my own. I’m a published writer. And yeah, I’m proud, but crikey, I should have written under a pseudonym.<br /><br />Oh, and don’t get me started on the fact that my dad read it, and accused me of being sick because of what happens on, what, the third page? I had to explain to him that I wrote it, and sent it to my dear collaborator Craig Cermak, and that all the words were mine, and not his responsibility.<br /><br />With hindsight, I should have blamed the artist.<br /><br />So much easier.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-41422184965473136762008-12-12T06:08:00.001-08:002008-12-12T06:41:27.134-08:00There Was Something About Her<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SRw6ca9RCxtFjZZBXMrDEpNGZHdyyWyurqTM8VllO6np58R9cC9_Xqg22UWV1dBwo92yC18KY9sh5gSmKc9y2aEZwiqPxDODGDs-2IDhW3_BjX_ApRMn3fRYvaskYK9wTlLB_TfQ2g/s1600-h/bettie_01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 243px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SRw6ca9RCxtFjZZBXMrDEpNGZHdyyWyurqTM8VllO6np58R9cC9_Xqg22UWV1dBwo92yC18KY9sh5gSmKc9y2aEZwiqPxDODGDs-2IDhW3_BjX_ApRMn3fRYvaskYK9wTlLB_TfQ2g/s320/bettie_01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278913026025338978" border="0" /></a><br />I'm not sure what it was but it made people take notice. Even decades after her "notorious" pin-ups photos and racy movies were made she still managed to remain an eye-catching icon. She was the girl next door and all kinds of woman at the same time. THE pin-up girl.<br /><br />Dave Stevens, creator of The Rocketeer, first began to pay tribute to Page by featuring her heavily in his work in the 80s, her image then became a common theme in various scenes during the 90s, and finally she reached pop culture icon status with an explosion in popularity along with the rise of the internet over the past decade. <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081212/ap_en_ot/obit_bettie_page">Bettie Page was 85</a>.Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-70063716252274700382008-12-09T18:16:00.000-08:002008-12-09T20:31:07.548-08:00Comics Should Be CheapThe worst thing comics ever did was to start taking themselves too seriously. They are a trash medium plain and simple. They were to be read for quick and easy entertainment (in the school yard, on a lunch break, between brain surgeries) and then pitched in the trash. The reason that some of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">goldie</span> oldies got to be worth so much is that some of them were actually good and people actually held on to them and kept them in good shape for several decades. It was this dismissal by society at large that allowed comics their creative power. When no one's paying attention you are free to do what you want, and comics have often tested the boundaries of thought, graphic innovation, and good taste.<br /><br />Now I say this with nothing but love for the medium in my heart. It's my favorite art form hands down. But I have watched them slowly grow from subversive anonymity to pop culture prominence in my lifetime and how that has choked them creatively and commercially in the process. Where comic books were once available in every grocery store, newsstand, and grocery store in this country, they are now only available in a handful of specialty stores in cities of modest size or larger. I grew up in a rural area outside a small town in Middle America and managed to get my hands on comics on a regular basis. Were I a youngster in that same area today, I might not even know what a comic book was. And where comics were the playground of giants like Jack Kirby who wove grandiose, eye-popping, cosmic opera pop art masterpieces, so often these days we are given very grim and serious fare of superheroes so conflicted by inner turmoil that goes on for (and crosses over with) dozens of issues that it's hard to imagine it's fun for anyone to read except the most hardcore, long-time comic fans. Even the once-promising sons of the exploding indie movement have settled away to their own artistic <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">endeavours</span> (or been squeezed out by Diamond's tightening grip) and left a hole where the next generation of auteur titles should be.<br /><br />But market availability and content both pale in comparison to the true enemy of the single issue comic - <span style="font-style: italic;">prices</span>. While the dedicated fanbase doesn't seemed bothered with driving out of their way to comic shops to pay premium prices on their favorite titles, there are very few new people - potential fans - who will see the appeal or reward in this. And now that we are staring down price increases again in the face of skyrocketing costs from the worst financial crisis of our lifetimes, it will be interesting to see how many of the true believers will still be willing to spend their shrinking disposable incomes on the pamphlet adventures of their beloved super-characters. <span style="font-weight: bold;">$3.99</span> folks! A dollar jump in some cases. That's a big reason why I earlier predicted <a href="http://blogotronik.blogspot.com/2008/12/digital-age-has-arrived.html">here</a> that we are at the breaking point for the traditional comic market and may see the unavoidable jump to digital downloads. The question that has been on my mind for some time now (and <a href="http://thehorrorsofcomics.blogspot.com/2008/11/4-for-funny-books-you-are-insane.html">others</a>) is why exactly <span style="font-style: italic;">do</span> comics cost so damn much? I remember a time when I could a comic for less than the price of a can of Coca-Cola. Now sodas are in larger plastic bottles and a little over a dollar (or just a dollar if you are scouting for the best prices in certain vending machines) and comics are now staring down a FOUR dollar cover price. Sure the comic market is much smaller now due to the retreat into the direct market (albeit their own fault) and paper and print quality is much better (not entirely necessary though) and there's just general cost inflation over time, but how do the prices of yesteryear match up with today's exactly? Well thankfully Rich Johnston over at <a href="http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=18583">LITG</a> has come up with a chart that compares just that...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO8UBWP_-Bkh_AFoDUBEPB6qv3rlDlnGKlRVUuwNoD5xkh2iAt3lSRpQn_rUP-iwmuBOiOFLJP8LQKsPOhZ12AN8T_HkyKFWazDVHlLZr0mNMKaV0FOg2hWmsa5oxujM0y7XxAhcrLBA/s1600-h/comicinflationchart.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 171px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO8UBWP_-Bkh_AFoDUBEPB6qv3rlDlnGKlRVUuwNoD5xkh2iAt3lSRpQn_rUP-iwmuBOiOFLJP8LQKsPOhZ12AN8T_HkyKFWazDVHlLZr0mNMKaV0FOg2hWmsa5oxujM0y7XxAhcrLBA/s400/comicinflationchart.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277996273486053522" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">(click for largerness)</span><br /><br /></div>So yeah. Wow. Somehow what should be a $1.09 has become three dollars and is about to make another big jump in this year of economic turmoil and tribulations. What is the justification for this? I would say that the creators are being paid better but I know that some writers have to maintain several books a month and often times the artists take commission work or jobs outside the industry to supplement their incomes. I have seen photo spreads of Joe Quesada and Steve Geppi's really, really, <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> nice homes and they seem to still be doing exceptionally well however. I'm not sure what's in store for the future of comics honeslty but sacrifices are definitely about to be made and I would recommend that anyone who likes the way business is being done these days to take a nice long sentimental look around.Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-59307521921639109792008-12-08T18:56:00.000-08:002008-12-08T19:59:42.596-08:00The Batmobile Lost A Wheel<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxhSZAuq7KlEJMoxVzxVR19VT_gDYx-q8ph6wustvHGCek0KcN1Osl8kFjO0Bsj7uARo29I8U6XWIPwn64uXO7rufZ3G5vi1W7CQZWRaJktfKx9qv-Y7arI_wJlOsCjE20Y-I2JzyFHw/s1600-h/italy+batmobile+2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxhSZAuq7KlEJMoxVzxVR19VT_gDYx-q8ph6wustvHGCek0KcN1Osl8kFjO0Bsj7uARo29I8U6XWIPwn64uXO7rufZ3G5vi1W7CQZWRaJktfKx9qv-Y7arI_wJlOsCjE20Y-I2JzyFHw/s320/italy+batmobile+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277623132514348034" border="0" /></a><br />How awesome is this? A great looking Batmobile toy from Italy produced in 1980 I came across recently over at the <a href="http://tomztoyz.blogspot.com/">Bat-Blog</a>. More great pics of this gem of a Bat-collectible there so <a href="http://tomztoyz.blogspot.com/2008/11/vintage-batman-toy-foreign-batmobile.html#links">be sure to check them out</a>. Working lights and one of those low-tech corded remote controls with the little steering wheel on it were the main features, but it's just a really nice looking toy considering about that time here in the US we were somewhere between the clunky Mego Batmobile and the so-so Super Powers version.<br /><br />Which leads to the bigger question, "what's so cool about the Batmobile?" Besides being the ride of one of the best fictional characters of our time (Batman is at once both Sherlock Holmes smart and James Bond action, but with bats) it's just a great concept. Sometimes a hot rod and sometimes a borderline tank, this is what Batman uses when he goes from covert, sneaky rooftop ops to full-on asskicking in the streets. If you are a criminal in Gotham City and the Batmobile rolls up you know it's on like Donkey Kong. Black, tail fins, bat graphics, rocket launchers - it's all the badassery you could possibly want in a car. That was one of the only big disappointments for me with the latest Christopher Nolan Bat-films, the Batmobile looked like total crap. I know, part of the point is that this is the gritty and realistic version of Batman and hence his transportation would be no-frills, utilitarian, and pragmatic, but <span style="font-style: italic;">come on</span>. It's the frickin' Batmobile! If it looks more like a piece of rolling modern art than an actual car you have to know something has gone astray. The glimmer of hope here is that it was destroyed in <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span> to eject the Bat-pod-cycle thing so maybe we'll get to see something cooler in the inevitable threequel.<br /><br />And since it's the holiday season and if you haven't already seen it, check out this great (and perpetually sold-out) t-shirt from <a href="http://www.threadless.com/product/356/Lost_A_Wheel">Threadless</a>...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU-tEWGHIEsqGruZAc8l9hCol0Ny33JOslw9yX8TR3lnevYBrHUtW17IG7pr-ZyAbi3tZKZf15iCsW_ZMv48dxKeG8akdNLaXKfoz5ZiER__5DAMhK9bwbRkVdHUoTvYPUi2UbgshQGA/s1600-h/zoom.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU-tEWGHIEsqGruZAc8l9hCol0Ny33JOslw9yX8TR3lnevYBrHUtW17IG7pr-ZyAbi3tZKZf15iCsW_ZMv48dxKeG8akdNLaXKfoz5ZiER__5DAMhK9bwbRkVdHUoTvYPUi2UbgshQGA/s320/zoom.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277632629343993330" border="0" /></a>Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-73088680180310924412008-12-07T12:47:00.000-08:002008-12-07T17:30:50.136-08:00The Most Fascinating People of 2008Every year Barbara Walters sits down with a professional team of Media analyst and compiles a list of the most fascinating people of the year. Afterwards, she takes the list they have worked so hard on and crumples it up into a little ball, goes to her dressing room at The View and makes her own list.<br /><br /> It's not that I blame her. I actually feel bad for her to have to bear this incredible cross. I can't imagine the pain she must feel every night before she pulls her coffin lid closed and drifts off into her <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">botox</span> coma, knowing she can never be on the list as numbers one through ten. Alas, this is not a blog about how sweet it must be to have the honor of looking in the mirror everyday to see the tightly stretched visage of Barbara Walters involuntarily winking back at you.<br /><br />This is about the ten most fascinating people of 2008.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieLCdC9jzZXv71KP0FfHllmAAB_564nQ3nBE7gqKrP97Gqn_WvqZEF-9yfMArDx2UVt9rgkfQhgQO-BcAHWtdraWEv0agO5nT_9Y9aX1nz8vu5w9PaeZ5tM0kQeBQWyHoAn9qf0xesvYXY/s1600-h/ap_cruise_081201_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 247px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieLCdC9jzZXv71KP0FfHllmAAB_564nQ3nBE7gqKrP97Gqn_WvqZEF-9yfMArDx2UVt9rgkfQhgQO-BcAHWtdraWEv0agO5nT_9Y9aX1nz8vu5w9PaeZ5tM0kQeBQWyHoAn9qf0xesvYXY/s320/ap_cruise_081201_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277159622817846674" border="0" /></a>10: Coming in at number ten is Scientology's answer to Jerry Falwell, the gifted Tom Cruise.When Tom's not busy suing people for calling him gay, preaching the words of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">L Ron Hubbard</span> or kidnapping and brainwashing mediocre starlets, Mr. Cruise still finds the time to make shitty movies. If you don't believe me check out Mission Impossible One through Three, a true trilogy of shit that will have you putting bleach in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Visine</span> bottle and make you hope for the triumphant return of L. Ron Hubbard to come before they make the fourth installment <span style="font-style: italic;">Mission Impossible 4:Determining Cruise's True Sexuality.</span><br /><br /> Who can forget the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">precocious</span> youngster Cruise used to be, dancing through his parents living room in sunglasses and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">tightie</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">whities</span> while lip syncing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Old</span> Time Rock and Roll? Does Top Gun or Days of Thunder ring any bells for anyone? The most fascinating thing Walters could have done in this segment is ask the real question: What the hell happened to Tom Cruise?<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ysrw-yf2UrfU9PaRQZjiXjJdh88YyLXJaAVo8rLd85jCesIG1u2fmVeaoDajoedV4UvqHC6eFx5Qe85cAmDeqTGdsNOqeL-UkJjoEbv2wlWfaz0nYDc-vXTKkbBO8aXdXsGOgR8LJRJv/s1600-h/abc_beatie_081201_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ysrw-yf2UrfU9PaRQZjiXjJdh88YyLXJaAVo8rLd85jCesIG1u2fmVeaoDajoedV4UvqHC6eFx5Qe85cAmDeqTGdsNOqeL-UkJjoEbv2wlWfaz0nYDc-vXTKkbBO8aXdXsGOgR8LJRJv/s320/abc_beatie_081201_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277163644655203714" border="0" /></a> 9: Thomas <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Beatie</span> the amazing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">pregnant</span> man. Admittedly I paid little attention to this story when it first hit the news earlier this year. Assuming it was some sort of prank or hoax I rolled my eyes and ignored it. <span style="font-style: italic;">A man couldn't possibly be pregnant, this must be a joke.</span> I thought to myself.<br /><br /> I couldn't have been more wrong. See it's simple, all you have to do is have your vagina converted to a penis, then get artificially inseminated and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">whammo</span> you're a pregnant man. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Apparently</span>, there's something of a disconnect between Babs and myself, I have been aware for sometime that a person with a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">UTERUS</span> could become pregnant. I have learned this lesson the hard way twice from personal experience. The only thing fascinating about this is that it made national headlines. I want to issue a challenge to the news media here and now: Tell a story when there is one. Let's throw a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">wacky</span> caveat into guidelines for reporting on pregnant men. If they have functioning internal female reproductive organs, DO NOT CALL THEM A PREGNANT MAN.<br /><br /><br /><br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxHL_Njnt5G3GXCiTNnzyO0Rk-jRZCVcAbr67gvBo8FBv1Uin97Q0L0vKMNo-wnD2p3iUnM9XK9bHKfxQR5jIiOAVsI7WlETwgLb2W7Mnfgb8MFksZUTPZZ6JLWkqL2qj39BFGFq9x6hE6/s1600-h/ap_palin_081201_ssh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 248px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxHL_Njnt5G3GXCiTNnzyO0Rk-jRZCVcAbr67gvBo8FBv1Uin97Q0L0vKMNo-wnD2p3iUnM9XK9bHKfxQR5jIiOAVsI7WlETwgLb2W7Mnfgb8MFksZUTPZZ6JLWkqL2qj39BFGFq9x6hE6/s320/ap_palin_081201_ssh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277169010496339106" border="0" /></a>8: I know, I know. I need go no further than to include a picture of a Vice Presidential Candidate giving the wave you would normally see on a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Float to illicit a chuckle, but let's get into this anyways. A brilliant move by Walters to include her in this list. Everyone has a special place in their...um, wherever hate comes from for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Palin</span>. In four months she turned the campaign process on it's uptight head. She spoke directly to us, the people. How did she do this? By using small easy to understand words, she got down on our level and held our stupid little hands through the ups and downs of politics. I learned that if you say something completely retarded in an interview that it's the interviewers fault for asking questions. She completely changed our expectations of a VP candidate. Gone are the days when we <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">expected</span> gravitas, tact, intelligence, and ugly people on a national ticket. Thank you Sara <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Palin</span> you have done your country a great service.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgKCP18eSC8Vt22_Aa96vym0_oseyiOSARZ3HjC7Oe32WSX056zIEqkNiUZ6SI3U_GkWWUideOcfdAPxYrw1fTV2TR95NWdCQ0RBuVo_lXlG7sXqeIVgPMWG1PokcRmb2hoixEDMTtC8-r/s1600-h/ap_langella_081201_ssh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 248px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgKCP18eSC8Vt22_Aa96vym0_oseyiOSARZ3HjC7Oe32WSX056zIEqkNiUZ6SI3U_GkWWUideOcfdAPxYrw1fTV2TR95NWdCQ0RBuVo_lXlG7sXqeIVgPMWG1PokcRmb2hoixEDMTtC8-r/s320/ap_langella_081201_ssh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277172997175440498" border="0" /></a>7: Frank <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Langella</span>, what can you say about a guy who has played three of the greatest villains EVER. Count Dracula in 79, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Skeletor</span> in 1987, and rounding out the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">trifecta</span> of evil he portrays Richard Nixon in this years <span style="font-style: italic;">FROST/NIXON.</span><br /><br /> The film was directed by close pal and confidant of Arthur"The Fonz" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Fonzerelli</span>, Richie Cunningham, who hopes to finally step out of the shadow of Andy Griffith with the new film. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">After all</span>, with George Bush leaving office the hearts of Americans everywhere will be left with a void we will clamor to fill with a movie about a shitty president.<br /><br />Still good call on this fascinating individual. Here's to hoping he is cast to play the part of number Five on this very list in next years <span style="font-style: italic;">Mr. Limbaugh Goes To Washington.</span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWqGAFlbqRBga0pgr8z7YaubKmiYjl9BlrLeEZu-0Vh_71ZuC-th6YJLB5SrZ7lSQl3lLlgzWB8dTPkX-aCVNtboVeRzoyRbsHG6I9t6I1Yj5z-KvpOhDB_IZYOnSvQ6r7IgnUrGjSGHKz/s1600-h/nm_fey_081201_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWqGAFlbqRBga0pgr8z7YaubKmiYjl9BlrLeEZu-0Vh_71ZuC-th6YJLB5SrZ7lSQl3lLlgzWB8dTPkX-aCVNtboVeRzoyRbsHG6I9t6I1Yj5z-KvpOhDB_IZYOnSvQ6r7IgnUrGjSGHKz/s320/nm_fey_081201_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277177791976085842" border="0" /></a>6: Not only do I have nothing bad to say about Tina Fey, I will stab anyone who does. Fey who used to be known for her brilliant weekend updates on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">SNL</span> before she returned to the late night skit show and took this years cast from kind of funny to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">occasionally</span> hilarious. Her portrayal of Sara <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Palin</span> sent her career on a white hot path to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">super stardom</span>. Before the election Fey could only be found on Six Seasons of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">SNL</span>, several movies and the hit show 30 Rock.<br /><br />After her <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Palin</span> skits she can now be found on 7 seasons of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">SNL</span>, several movies, the hit show 30 Rock and a few American Express commercials. See? Her credits won't stop growing.<br /><br />This is clearly a case of kidding because I love. Due to the all ages nature of this blog I won't even go into the myriad of fantasies that pop up when I think of Fey all dressed up as Governor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Palin</span>. I'll leave that to you to ponder and simply thank Tina for providing another generation with <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">masturbatory</span> fodder.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8nGFEkXr8P8RSH7V8CsOSoC03jWauo_oPfWT8L7dsP34EOeQF9kRMiBMwyV2BTP9xLOtifg51TZVo9y_vgdXMOjTnXyF6E91PHmWDPELixW-QquyJHbD_f0j3kqp4CDajsr-ilBlqbFQp/s1600-h/nm_limbaugh_081201_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8nGFEkXr8P8RSH7V8CsOSoC03jWauo_oPfWT8L7dsP34EOeQF9kRMiBMwyV2BTP9xLOtifg51TZVo9y_vgdXMOjTnXyF6E91PHmWDPELixW-QquyJHbD_f0j3kqp4CDajsr-ilBlqbFQp/s320/nm_limbaugh_081201_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277182195185270258" border="0" /></a>5: Number five is the self proclaimed Lovable Fuzzball himself, Rush Limbaugh. This man doesn't require wacky things like facts to make his point. He looks facts in the eye and tells them what to represent. You can't deny the Punk Rock attitude of a man who hates large government, pops pills and spews hate.<br />The only thing missing from his self titled syndicated radio show is a three power chord progression of fury. With a slew of failed marriages, drug addiction, and his uphill battle against facts and rational thought this man has single <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">handedly</span> changed the way people listen to talk radio: With tightly <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">clenched</span> fists and pounding migraines.<br /><br />During the interview Walters had the audacity to ask him how he feels about making so much money during a recession. His answer, "I choose not to participate. (In the recession)"<br /><br />Holy shit, that is punk rock! Rush has no respect for your big oppressive institutions, society. (Unless we're talking about marriage that is.)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEAhqMOenS3K2Mi5KoEbaqVOLukFTa2a__Wah4Xg3h767C139c7-6UgYKcajr7bJRCPHrIVR-QCPmaKWg1vAEHXzWxYCrVWex0OgnbkzAP0y9tkkpCSm2-cyry0FMbRa4Fb1eFjnvX47VQ/s1600-h/nm_phelps_081201_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEAhqMOenS3K2Mi5KoEbaqVOLukFTa2a__Wah4Xg3h767C139c7-6UgYKcajr7bJRCPHrIVR-QCPmaKWg1vAEHXzWxYCrVWex0OgnbkzAP0y9tkkpCSm2-cyry0FMbRa4Fb1eFjnvX47VQ/s320/nm_phelps_081201_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277186207777850642" border="0" /></a>4: Micheal Phelps is number four. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Remember</span> when people cared about the Olympics? Mr. Phelps does. He brought home the gold by the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">butt loads</span> for America at this years Olympics. It's just too bad that no one cared. With the Olympics being held in Communist China, little was reported about the actual games. Russia pulled some shit in Georgia(the country not the peach state), the stock <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">market</span> crashed, and we endured the longest campaign season ever. All of these things conspired to take away attention from this man's accomplishments. He DOMINATED the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Olympics</span>.<br /><br />Before I go feeling too sorry for Mr. Phelps' lack of attention this year, I have to assume there are some sort of extra benefits to winning like every gold medal ever. P <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Diddy</span> must be wallowing in jealousy of his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">bling</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">bling</span>. If the rap world is any indicator to what that kind of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">bling</span> affords you as a person then Phelps must be elbow deep in groupies somewhere in the back of a stretch <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Escalade</span> as I type. If that is the case, then I say well done sir and thank you for bringing home the gold(s).<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg02qQ12Q3vuqg0huUR2OtdGLly7LR8MM8Sm38Z6SqKUKP347jWpL0n9rCDsSJvD-0bTiy8oEoYfB_iwO5daJujnf82euvt17fdjeWlwy6qGykyQ8ndph4UYTgyqBqP2xJ_1Lp9tKoAOUn5/s1600-h/nm_cyrus_081201_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 242px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg02qQ12Q3vuqg0huUR2OtdGLly7LR8MM8Sm38Z6SqKUKP347jWpL0n9rCDsSJvD-0bTiy8oEoYfB_iwO5daJujnf82euvt17fdjeWlwy6qGykyQ8ndph4UYTgyqBqP2xJ_1Lp9tKoAOUn5/s320/nm_cyrus_081201_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277189128050587218" border="0" /></a>3: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">Miley</span> is easily my favorite member of the Cyrus family. Good for her to be able to usurp her Dad Billy Ray who's Achy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Breaky</span> Heart dominated the charts nearly twenty years ago, as the primary bread winner in the family. I must say I admire Billy Ray for overcoming the pitfalls of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Super stardom</span> and taking the backseat to push his daughter into the very same spotlight that causes him to become addicted to coke and whores in the mid nineties. Some people may think it is wrong <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">for</span> him to exploit his little girl, but Daddy <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">needs</span> a new pick up truck and mullet wigs just aren't selling like they used to.<br /><br />Despite all that, I am hopeful that having already been down the flash in the pan road himself Billy Ray will be able to guide this talented young woman and help her to make the right decisions to maintain a quality image as a role model for the youngsters. I'm sure he'll avoid tacky publicity moves like letting her pose nearly nude in Vanity Fair at age fifteen...<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAYuEgrblBCBYPtVQ_d4KDKBx2Xda4sYVZtd7-5j8HuSu7bk1Tjw9MSilH5uAmWUTk00gm4lr2CT3ChLASBTG6GPyNgYOm-li06yfZcVvzEzMzRd6W2dhkIOGX5nzyO_SYTeclW0VIZ0zz/s1600-h/nm_will_smith_081201_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAYuEgrblBCBYPtVQ_d4KDKBx2Xda4sYVZtd7-5j8HuSu7bk1Tjw9MSilH5uAmWUTk00gm4lr2CT3ChLASBTG6GPyNgYOm-li06yfZcVvzEzMzRd6W2dhkIOGX5nzyO_SYTeclW0VIZ0zz/s320/nm_will_smith_081201_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277191679167580770" border="0" /></a>2: Will Smith is number two. Perhaps the most versatile actor ever to grace the big screen. His last eight movies have each grossed over one-hundred million a piece at the box office, proving once and for all it's not about quality it's about being Will Smith. By my count Will has had something like 79 successful careers. Going from being a rap pioneer in the eighties to a television star in the nineties and now being the biggest freaking movie star ever there is no stopping this man.<br /><br />There is however something missing here, D.J Jazzy Jeff. Where is he Mr.Smith? You abandoned him after Fresh Prince of Bel-Air didn't you? You had him hired into the show to play your best friend and when the show got canceled you dumped him for greener pastures. Maybe it's not your fault though, perhaps he was holding you back. Was there any room for him in Independence Day? No there was not. Sadly in a film of that magnitude there's only room for one black fighter pilot who says stereotypically black things while beating on aliens. Oh hell <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">naw</span>, you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">didn't</span> indeed.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtn_MVxokdwMtkZeMYK5sSuH4vQ-26Rwg9nSQoVRr1nQbdbZQLeFIFNsOD5M9XEb1krv8SGemBfjSDn4u7TjCqkUhrgVgN71FmTC2LsVQ-luAjGLyaTI2uuueOAFe6QHtbiRYfefhUEpa7/s1600-h/rt_barack_obama_081204_ssv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 289px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtn_MVxokdwMtkZeMYK5sSuH4vQ-26Rwg9nSQoVRr1nQbdbZQLeFIFNsOD5M9XEb1krv8SGemBfjSDn4u7TjCqkUhrgVgN71FmTC2LsVQ-luAjGLyaTI2uuueOAFe6QHtbiRYfefhUEpa7/s320/rt_barack_obama_081204_ssv.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277195779506238642" border="0" /></a>1:President Elect Barack Obama. Finally, someone who deserves to be on such a list. This guy has fixed everything before even stepping foot in office. Did you know that 2008 is the coolest year of the decade thus far? Global Warming is shaking in it's boots a full month out from the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">inauguration</span>.<br /><br />I admit with all the coverage and analysis we have seen on the man it is hard to say something about him that has not been said before. I like this guy. He's a brilliant and talented politician, he ran an incredible campaign and most importantly he is a fan of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">comic books</span>. What's so important about this you ask.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Psychotronik</span> Comics Presents #1 is available <a href="http://www.indyplanet.com/catalog/index.php?osCsid=c16fa13dedce47163bf2fcf95c616b4b&cPath=37&sort=&filter_id=684">here.</a><br /><br />So grab a copy and send it for a housewarming gift for the 44<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">th</span> president and tell him <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">Psychotronik</span> Comics sent you.Chris Paughhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739186167230175185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-22271205100730327032008-12-07T04:09:00.000-08:002008-12-07T05:16:35.316-08:00The Digital Age Has Arrived?Well yeah sure, it's the digital age but comic books have largely resisted making that transition as of yet. There's been a lot more interest in the last few years albeit in slow and hesitant steps, but I believe we could see that change very quickly over the next few years. The digital market for comics is still forming, but the recent economic downturn, and upturn in printing and shipping costs will almost certainly mean a huge change to the current comic market and the way we get our comics. Heidi MacDonald makes a comprehensive case for the current environment in the industry over at <a href="http://pwbeat.publishersweekly.com/blog/2008/12/05/when-will-the-axe-fall-on-comics/#more-6707">The Beat</a>...<br /><br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;">Graphic novels that offer satisfying, memorable stories, webcomics that make you chuckle, and periodicals that can hold monthly attention will always tough it out. Sincere publishers who want to put out the best books that they can will keep going. <p>In a world where people can only afford necessities, you must make comics that your audience NEEDS.</p><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL2kxTUOkU977kZtrrD_mWham0sxNSkyK9oHDCMC17E-jv-tQO70sVwPcNhlxE9AE6ujsgN4JpOna7uI0gIAhYU8hriiDxOeilROaOHYnCTn1PbjsLoAslbX5KKW88Ouz1g_r8XqG7iQ/s1600-h/weirdchills1.jpg"><blockquote><br /></blockquote></a></p> </blockquote><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRPNmIaCRIfEksx8FWDsQo_sge3FwR4nrV0hxl1dBzctU6vDOmB47Cmy4LkbVYcOgKwDpF2JlotF7vCYW9de8qZhtIDW8sbcU8uhkBz9rhjxt0t4naaYTr_Vt53UIgg2ez6vfkcz6lLQ/s1600-h/weirdchills1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 151px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRPNmIaCRIfEksx8FWDsQo_sge3FwR4nrV0hxl1dBzctU6vDOmB47Cmy4LkbVYcOgKwDpF2JlotF7vCYW9de8qZhtIDW8sbcU8uhkBz9rhjxt0t4naaYTr_Vt53UIgg2ez6vfkcz6lLQ/s200/weirdchills1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277036343362211202" border="0" /></a>Doesn't sound good. But comics seem to be at their best when they are cheap and easily available to people wanting cheap and easily available entertainment. In the wake of the Internet the newsstands and print powerhouses aren't nearly what they once were and there's really no way back for single issue comics. The paper upgrades and jump to the direct distribution market over the last few decades were one way streets with no easy way back, so where do they go from here? Digital downloads seem to be the only real answer to pulling comics back out of the quiet, dusty shelves of specialty comic shops, but again the comic companies have more than slow in reacting. They know that once this step is taken the direct market will implode once more, maybe forever, and the only shops surviving will be the ones able to remake themselves to cater to a variety of fandoms or niche markets. It's not a step actually it's a huge leap. And sometimes you have to be pushed.</p><p>It came up in conversation recently that where the financial Depression of the 1930s ushered in the print-driven, newsstand age of comics, so might this current relatable recession be the final straw that will push comics into the digital market for good. My best tip of the last few years has been if anyone figures out how to make a site for selling comic downloads that is comparable to iTunes they will be very successful indeed. From the rolled up copy in your back pocket to the file on your portable device, we may well see this new age of comics happen very soon.<br /></p><br /><p></p>Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-53832883804413118892008-12-06T15:53:00.000-08:002008-12-06T16:23:44.156-08:00Why The World Hates You (And Me. But Me Less).<span style="font-size:100%;">There's a reason for me to be posting here. Is it because I'm a writer for the Psychotronik Comics group? <span style="font-style: italic;">Maybe</span>. Is it because I've found my way by weird coincidence onto this blog and am staking my claim whilst I still can? <span style="font-style: italic;">No</span>. Thing is, I don't need an excuse. The world made me do this. I am not a man in control of his actions. Neither are you. I'm writing because the world made me, and my mind will rationalise my decisions later, because that is what it always does. To everyone. Forever.
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<br />The reason I write is because I thought I enjoyed it. I thought I was good at it. And that I could always get better. I like reading, I like learning, I like experimenting with different styles and all the stuff that is inherent to being "<span style="font-style:italic;">a writer</span>". But apparently, the world made me do it. Here's the thing, there's a school of thought that says that the world affects us like we're puppets. That my typing this was preordained not by my thoughts, but because the world willed it, and me, like the puppet I am, am following through with that decree. This school of thought is called "</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Epiphenomenalism</span><span style="font-size:100%;">". It's a very hard word to remember on the fly, and I do hope I finally spelt it right after all my fretting.
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<br />So here's the thing, free will doesn't exist. We're slave to something bigger than all of us, the world. And think about this: We treat the world like shit. We use up resources like they're going out of fashion, we choke the air with fumes, we reproduce like vermin and spread ourselves across the continents, just looking for a hole to call our own so we can repeat the process all over again. If you were the world, what would you be forcing us to do? Sit back and be happy, continuing this ragged cycle of abuse that we inflict upon the world? Yes. Because you know why? We're killing ourselves. The world is giving us cancer because it's not making us do anything at all. The world inflicts disasters upon us and we're so inept that we can't even react to them. Then again, that's probably not entirely our doing, because, honestly, look at soon-to-be-former President Bush, and tell me that guy <span style="font-style: italic;">doesn't</span> hate the world.
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<br />We're being turned into killers, not my television, videogames, gang culture and extreme porn, but by the actions we've inflicted upon the world. We're like puppets on a string. Now, I guess you could bring up the fact that the world <span style="font-style: italic;">made</span> us treat it like a ten dollar hooker, but all evidence points to the world being a benevolent host, else why would it put up with us? Why doesn't it just open up, swallow us whole to fuel the core of the Earth and go about waiting for the evolutionary cycle to start again? Because it cares. Earth is a Mother. And no Mother truly wants to eat it's children whole, does it? (<span style="font-style: italic;">If you disagree with that statement right there you're right at home at this blog but you should keep away from me...</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">cheers.</span>) So we're killing the world, and in turn, the world is killing us slowly because it knows that most of us will go quietly in our sleep. How kind.
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<br />Doesn't that sound like a horror story to you?</span><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CDave%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:applybreakingrules/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman";" lang="EN-GB"></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-31269629002314038932008-12-06T15:03:00.000-08:002008-12-06T16:18:38.441-08:00RIP Forrest J. Ackerman<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9FO7UaUzeI31YM7mcDzHxkgLuG1aeuGIWtVFuo2pqHTidXW1PH9JIWgeK2v4XVLWWzi_vYo_35TT9_iLZ6gM6Q5pmTOnLKQNEu1F4DjUBFdzV11LhN98-oOBq1h8AOWofUCyiWiaV_A/s1600-h/ACKERMONSTER.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9FO7UaUzeI31YM7mcDzHxkgLuG1aeuGIWtVFuo2pqHTidXW1PH9JIWgeK2v4XVLWWzi_vYo_35TT9_iLZ6gM6Q5pmTOnLKQNEu1F4DjUBFdzV11LhN98-oOBq1h8AOWofUCyiWiaV_A/s320/ACKERMONSTER.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276818542188273746" border="0" /></a><br />Not really the way I wanted to start off this blog but I have to pay respects to one of the first and foremost among us. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forrest_J_Ackerman">Forrest J. Ackerman</a> has left this mortal realm at age 92.<br /><br />He may not have been a household name but he was a living legend that influenced every aspect of the science fiction and horror genres. Born in 1916, he was one of the earliest organizers of science fiction fandom, supporting and working with such young talents as Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster (creators of Superman) and Ray Bradbury. He attended the first Worldcon in 1939 (thereafter missing only two in his lifetime) and in a "futuristicostume" no less therefore being one of the first cosplayers on record, and later helped organize the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_Science_Fantasy_Society">Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society</a>. He was dubbed an "honorary lesbian" by the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daughters_of_Bilitis">Daughters of Bilitis</a> and won a Hugo award in 1953 for being the No. 1 Fan Personality (the prototype to today's Hugo for Best Fan Writer). He was Ed Wood's "illiterary agent" for a time and not only named the character Vampirella but wrote her origin story as well. He owned and displayed one of the largest collections of science fiction, fantasy, and horror memorabilia at his Ackermansion home/museum in Hollywood, CA. But arguably his most influential work was through his magazine, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Famous_Monsters_of_Filmland">Famous Monsters of Filmland</a> (<a href="http://www.moviemags.com/main.php?title=FAMOUS%20MONSTERS%20OF%20FILMLAND&etos=%">cover archive</a>), which inspired such young up-and-comers as Gene Simmons, George Lucas, Stephen King, and Tim Burton.<br /><br />In today's day and age where science fiction movies are big blockbuster business and all manner of fandoms have achieved new levels of organization and acceptance over the internet, we can all stop and show a moment of appreciation to one of the men who made it all possible. Thanks Uncle Forry, you will be missed. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_Science_Fantasy_Society" title="Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society"></a>Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7935141916771112316.post-2991350082528742992008-12-06T03:46:00.000-08:002008-12-06T04:03:00.244-08:00First Post!From the collaborators behind the small press <a href="http://www.psychotronik.com/">Psychotronik Comics</a> phenomenon (a very modest phenom but growing, be the first cool kid on your block to collect our comics!) now comes a blog so profound and enlightening it will make your skin smoother and your hair shinier. Expect great things as your life will be forever changed so make sure you bookmark this page!<br /><br />Okay, it will most likely be a good waste of your time but we hope you'll be entertained by visiting. Thanks and tell your friends!Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01181485720197536405noreply@blogger.com2